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The BIG Secret to Connecting with People on a Mind-Blowing Level and How You Can Literally Save People From Insanity

secret connecting with people
Part of wellness is connecting with others.

 

The secret to connecting with people on a mind-blowing level is to give them exactly what they want.

 

What does everyone want?

 

Sigmund Freud said it boils down to two motives…of course, sex, sex, baby AND the desire to be GREAT!

 

Today’s post will focus on greatness. When you tap into the big secret of greatness, you can connect with people (and the world) in a whole new mind-blowing way that literally saves people from insanity. YES, INSANITY! So for the sake of sanity, please read on.

This desire to be GREAT can be re-worded in a lot of different ways:

 

The desire to be IMPORTANT…

 

The desire to be APPRECIATED…

 

The desire to be SEEN…

 

The desire to be HEARD…

 

The desire to MATTER…

 

Same, same :)

 

You kind of already know this, but think about it. Do you really use this information in your day-to-day life, in your interactions and connections with other people?

 

Most likely, it’s a HELL NO. I’m basing it off the fact that I sure in hell didn’t always do it, so of course you must not have struggled with it too :P

 

Most of the time, your fear and ego gets in the way…

 

So, you don’t really make other people feel great, important, appreciated, seen, heard, matter, etc because that would mean you would have to get off your high horse.

 

I feel ya!

 

So, what to do?!!?!

 

I wanted to share two golden nugget stories that I read in How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie that really helped me to switch my mindset and values on connecting with people on a whole new level.

 

1. Saving People from Insanity

Half of the people who go insane is because of injury, toxins, alcohol, and other damages to the brain cells.

 

BUT, the super interesting fact is the other half of those who go insane have absolutely nothing organically wrong with their brains cells.

 

NOTHING! Their brain cells look like our “normal” brain cells. Yet, they’re “insane.” All the research out there had no idea why.

 

Mr. Dale was shocked. He searched and went to the top psychiatric hospital to get answers from the most honored and awarded doctor in the field and he was CLUELESS TOO!

 

“But he [the doctor] did say that many people who go insane find in insanity a feeling of importance that they were unable to achieve in the world of reality.”

 

Let me repeat that, people who go insane find in insanity a feeling of IMPORTANCE they were never able to achieve in the real world.

 

SAY WHAT?!?!

 

This blew my mind, but totally made sense at the same time.

 

How many times have you gone to LA LA LAND because reality just SUCKS?

 

I have plenty of times.

 

In LA LA LAND, I am super happy because I feel APPRECIATED (aka important, great, seen, heard, and matter).

 

I just never took a permanent vacation there. So, no surprise if REALITY is super duper sucky, lots of folks just say FUCK IT…and kiss the real world goodbye FOREVER and EVER and EVER!

 

The doctor then shared this story:

 

“I have a patient right now whose marriage proved to be a tragedy. She wanted love, sexual gratification, children and social prestige, but life blasted all her hopes. Her husband didn’t love her. He refused even to eat with her and forced her to serve his meals in his room upstairs. She had no children, no social standing. She went insane; and, in her imagination, she divorced her husband and resumed her maiden name. She now believes she has married into English aristocracy, and she insists on being called Lady Smith. And as for children, she imagines now that she has had a new child every night. Each time I call on her she says: ‘Doctor, I had a baby last night.'”

 

“Tragic? Oh, I don’t know…If I could stretch out my hand and restore her sanity, I wouldn’t do it. She’s much happier as she is.”

 

This is written back in the 1930s, how relatable is this story even now?!? Still today, plenty of people are in relationship who don’t feel like they matter or are appreciated. Shoot, even I have been in relationships like that.

 

So, I am begging you, for the SAKE OF HUMANITY, take Dale’s GOLDEN NUGGET and ponder this food for thought…

 

“If some people are so hungry for a feeling of importance that they ACTUALLY GO INSANE TO GET IT, imagine what MIRACLE you and I can achieve by giving people honest appreciation this side of insanity.”

I absolutely completely agree and hope you join me in becoming aware how far honest appreciation really goes in making miracles every day. The world isn’t starving for food, we’re starving for appreciation! Be brave to speak lovingly and you will see endless miracles.

 

 

2. Switching From a Fault to Praise Mindset

“The greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by APPRECIATION and ENCOURAGEMENT. There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I NEVER CRITICIZE ANYONE. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I AM ANXIOUS TO PRAISE BUT LOATH TO FIND FAULT. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise.” -Charles Schwab

But, the average person doesn’t praise! HECK NO.

What do we do instead? Complain and criticize. If something is amazingly done, nothing is said at all….just CRICKETS!

I wish I can say I have NEVER CRITICIZED and was more like Charles Schwab, but you know what?

Even though, I can’t change the past and how I was before.

I can change NOW :)

I WILL be a better person, a better being and switch my values to make it rain with praises, but blind to faults. This is because every moment only happens once, & never more. Be a better being right now. Like, NOW NOW!

 

 

Tweet it up, if you agree and want to change your values as well!

 

Last, but not least. I had to end with Dale’s favorite quote on this topic that he read every day.

 

“I shall pass this way but once; any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.”

 

 

I swear, if you start truly doing this, you’ll be living a FULL-FILLED life and live beyond happiness.

Another crazy bonus, you’ll start to get the body you desire too! No joke! Because when you’re living from your true self, in happiness, pretty much all the crazy stress is gone and you’re able to relax in your body naturally.  You automatically and easily get the body you desire with out the BS! It’s pretty much epic awesome.

My Question to You:

Do you show your appreciations to your every day connections? Or, do you just say nothing? BE HONEST! ;) Give the gift of making someone feel important/great by making them feel appreciated. Let your EGO go!

Share how you will change your day by showing appreciation to your connections in the comments below.

Do Me a Quick Favor:

Share with 3 friends how they can connect with people on a mind-blowing level. It will only take 3 seconds. <3 ya!

 

2 comments… add one
  • Brad January 28, 2016, 4:33 am

    Awesome…er…GREAT article! Some powerful stuff! So true how it’s easier to criticize but restrain ourselves from complimenting and praising. How much greater would the world be if that was the default setting. Thanks for the uplifting post, Jenny!

    Reply
    • jenny January 31, 2016, 8:29 am

      Thanks Brad! The world would be an EPIC place if the default setting was to compliment instead of criticize. Thanks for reading and shining your light <3

      Reply

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